End of Days (R)
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This movie came out in 1999, but I didn't see it until 2026. It did well enough at the box office, but got mostly bad reviews. Personally, I thought it was alright. I mean, for much of the film I thought it was kinda "meh", but overall I think the movie did a fair job of what it was trying to do. It's not something I'd feel the need to ever watch again, but I'm glad I finally watched it.

So, it starts in 1979, at the Vatican. When a baby girl is born (somewhere in the world), the Pope sends out priests to search for her, because of a prophecy. He wants them to protect her, but there are others who want to kill her, to prevent the prophecy from being fulfilled (because that would lead to the end of days). Twenty years later, a few days before New Year's Eve 1999, an alcoholic former cop named Jericho (Arnold Schwarzenegger), who is mourning the murders of his wife and daughter, works for a security agency, along with his partner, Bobby (Kevin Pollak). Their team is hired to protect an unnamed investment banker (Gabriel Byrne), who unbeknownst to them had been possessed by Satan. A seemingly crazy priest tries to kill the man, but is stopped by Jericho.

Jericho and Bobby investigate the priest, while withholding evidence from a cop named Marge (CCH Pounder). They learn that a young woman named Christine (Robin Tunney) was somehow connected to whatever was going on (though it takes them some time to learn her identity). Of course, she was the baby born at the start of the movie. She had been orphaned at a young age, and raised by her stepmother, who unbeknownst to her was in league with Satan. Long story short, once Jericho and Bobby find Christine, they (well, mostly Jericho) have to try to protect her from Satan and his followers, as well as from knights of the Vatican who want to kill her. (Though Jericho doesn't believe in all the religious stuff that's going on, for most of the movie.) The reason for all this is that Satan plans to impregnate Christine in the final hour of 1999. And I must say, it's a good thing that he only had such a narrow window of opportunity, for a couple of reasons. One, he couldn't do the deed before 11pm on New Year's Eve, and he definitely would have had chances prior to that. Two, he's basically indestructible, which means Jericho couldn't possibly have kept her safe indefinitely. But he sure did do an impressive job right up until the end.

Anyway... I don't really know what else to tell you. I've left some bits out of my summation, and I'm certainly not going to spoil how it ends. But I thought all the action was adequately action-y, and Jericho was a reasonably interesting and sympathetic character. Byrne did a good job of making Satan both menacing and sort of seductive, particularly in a non-sexual way, when he tries to tempt Jericho to give up Christine. (I was less impressed by the attempts at sexual seductiveness toward Christine.) I suppose I could see how some people might find the movie sort of cheesy or whatever. I mean, it is kind of ridiculous, in some ways. But at least it wasn't dull, and the plot was just barely complicated enough to make things sort of engaging. So, you know, it was just sort of... okay. Far from great, but not bad.