Masters of the Universe (PG)
AFI Catalog; Badmovies.org; Council of Geeks; IMDb; Rotten Tomatoes; TV Tropes; Warner Bros.; Wikia; Wikipedia
streaming sites: Amazon; Fandango; YouTube

This came out in 1987, but I didn't see it until 2026 (the same summer that a remake came out). It's based on a line of action figures, which was previously adapted into a cartoon In 1983-85. There are a lot of differences between the cartoon and the movie, but the core premise is more or less intact. I was thinking of filing my review under "B-movies", because this definitely has a B-movie budget, and its overall value lies in its unintentional campiness. It's also a science fantasy movie, so I could have put my review under either "science fiction" or "fantasy", and I kind of arbitrarily chose the latter. I know a fair number of people are fond of the movie, partly because it's nostalgic for them, having first seen it in the '80s when they were kids. Since I didn't see it back then, it holds little if any nostalgia for me. (Any semblance of nostalgia is based on the characters being familiar from the cartoon, even if they're rather different, here.) I should also note that for many fans of the movie, their favorite part is Frank Langella's performance as Skeletor. Which I can understand, especially when compared to any of the other performances in the movie. Overall, the movie is pretty cheesy, but still fairly fun, if you watch it with the right mindset. I couldn't manage to like it as much as some people do, but I also didn't dislike it, as many people (especially critics) did.

Well, the action begins on a planet called Eternia. Before the movie even starts, the evil warlock Skeletor and his forces have taken control of Castle Grayskull, and imprisoned the Sorceress within a force field. Throughout the movie, Skeletor drains her magical powers, and she grows visibly older as he does so. Skeletor is waiting for some celestial event that will give him the power to rule the universe. The hero, He-Man (Dolph Lundgren), and his allies, Man-At-Arms (Jon Cypher, whom I knew from Major Dad) and Teela, fight off some of Skeletor's troops, who had captured a little guy named Gwildor (Billy Barty, whose voice I recognized but couldn't place; I probably knew him best from Willow). The heroes rescue Gwildor, who turns out to be an inventor who had created a device called a Cosmic Key, which could open portals to anywhere in the universe. He had apparently given one key to Skeletor, somehow not realizing he was a bad guy. (Which is pretty weird, because I thought everyone on Eternia knew who Skeletor was.) It turns out Gwildor still has a prototype key, which Skeletor wants to get his hands on. The heroes try to rescue the Sorceress, but are outnumbered, and have to escape from Castle Grayskull using a key, but Gwildor doesn't have time to set the coordinates properly (which is done using musical notes), so they have no idea where they'll end up.

Where they end up is Earth. Unfortunately, they lost the key, so they split up to look for it. Meanwhile, we meet a teenager named Julie (Courteney Cox), who is planning to move away, I guess in the hopes of getting over her grief over the deaths her parents. This means she'll have to break up with her boyfriend, Kevin (Robert Duncan McNeill, whom I knew from Star Trek: Voyager). But for now, they're still together. Kevin finds the key, and because it plays musical notes, he thinks it's some kind of synthesizer. He goes to show it to a friend who owns a musical instruments store, while Julie waits for him at the school where Kevin's band is supposed to play a gig later. Skeletor sends some minions to Earth to search for the key, as well as He-Man. They track the key to the school, and wreck up the joint, then chase Julie down, thinking she knows where the key is. But He-Man comes to her rescue. Then Kevin learns that the school had been attacked, so he goes looking for Julie. Instead, all he finds there is a bunch of police, led by a detective named Lubic (James Tolkan). After the minions return to Eternia, having failed in their mission, Skeletor sends his henchwoman, Evil-Lyn, to lead some troops to search for He-Man and the key.

The key changes hands a number of times, and I don't feel like detailing everything that happens with it. But Kevin is reunited with Julie, and he meets He-Man, Man-At-Arms, Teela, and Gwildor. Lubic also gets caught up in the battles against Skeletor's forces. Everyone eventually goes to Eternia, where they once again fight Skeletor and his forces. Naturally, the good guys win in the end. Gwildor sends Julie and Kevin back to Earth, but for some reason, Lubic decides to stay on Eternia, which I thought was one of the weirdest things about the movie. (I kind of got the impression he was going to be made, like, a king or something, which makes no sense. But that wasn't really clear. Maybe he was just sitting on the throne because it was there, I dunno. But what's really weird is he got paired with some random woman.) And... I think I've left out lots of details throughout the movie, but as usual, I may have said too much. I will say that Wikipedia mentions a post-credits scene, which I didn't see, but it's probably not important, considering the planned sequel never got made. And that's all I can think to say. It's just a weird, campy movie, but... whatever, I'm glad I've finally seen it.